So yesterday I had Brendan in the doctor…fever for 3 days…no sore throat or anything…he has strep! This morning…Logan wakes up with a sore throat and no other symptoms…back to the doctor and he has strep! Sigh! When they both get sick I seem to get a little depressed! I work so hard to keep them healthy and they have been so sick this year of Kindergarten…it is definitely been frustrating and I’m just not sure what to do! I can’t wait for summer vacation next week…we are done on May 21st…Thank God! I am SO over this! Just my two cents!

Being the mom! We have to expect nothing…yet everyone expects of us! Some days it is just too much and you want to go into a corner and just hide for a while…

Ok…so I’m up at 5am and wondering about my life and all that has gone on in my short, but definitely packed, 39 years! It’s a little stormy outside and I’m feeling pensive! (Not to mention I still have a headache and had a stomach ache for the last 2 days! Oh well! I just had a banana so this weird feeling should wear off soon!) 

Anyway…I’m scheduled to leave for CA next Friday and I’m feeling all of these emotions…wondering about my kiddos, Scott’s health, you name it! (Can’t sleep needless to say!) How do you pick up where you left off? Can you ever go back again? Do you want to? What am I going to find upon my return…do I really want to know? How will I see everyone and myself as well? My brain is so running crazy right now!

I’m not sure anyone will ever really understand me! The life I lead with Scott is so hard to explain to people who don’t share in it’s similarities! There are definite positives and of course some negatives too…but I feel like we have done so much more in our short 16 years together (20 if you count before we were married) than most people do in their entire lifetimes! I mean really! But there is only one of my friends who can really understand all of the struggles and sacrifice because her husband in the same position.

And I must say it’s been difficult. Not having anyone to share all of this with…especially since the move it has been really hard. I am such a social person and now I find myself in the position of (again) being the shoulders that other people seem to lean on and confide in but not befriend? Go freaking figure!? Let me explain…often times I have felt like people needed me…to confide in or be their shoulder…and that’s the type of friend I am…loyal (I think to a fault) and always there for people. It’s funny how that has happened here without me even trying…people I don’t even know seem to talk to me. On two totally separate occasions I have gone out to breakfast with people and had them spend the entire time (several hours I might add) talking about themselves and not once really asking about me or my life at all! Hmm! Odd you think! Yeah…me too! Maybe I should have been a shrink! Ha! 

I lend my time to the school…to other people…to my family…now my in-laws since they moved here…and I’m wondering what I’m getting out of this! Not that you always need to get something in return…but I’m having to try and fill my own cup that is just empty! And it’s been difficult…and often a little lonely! I am told to find something I want to do and the friends will follow…but I feel frazzled and stretched and like I have no time to keep up with things much to say the least find something that I want to do and actually find the time to do it! Good luck! I guess that’s another way of making excuses…it gets me off the hook from actually trying something new. I have gotten so bad at scheduling my time that I feel like I will never get myself back again! And that just makes me sad! I feel like I need to slap or pinch myself to “wake up” but I’m not sure that will help! 

I know all of this sounds depressing and I’m sorry…but sometimes you just need to put it out there to get it out of your own head! So there…hopefully my brain is empty enough that I can get 30 minutes of sleep before my alarm goes off and the day actually starts! 

Good Morning All!

The “It” being finally getting your act together and getting those stupid things on your To Do List done…I mean the ones that have been there for so long you can’t imagine what your life would be like if they weren’t swirling around in your head!? Just a question for the great cosmic void!

There has got to be a better way to get things done! I am doing things and getting things done but I always have so much more to do and nothing ever seems to get finished! And don’t get me started on what I want to be when I grow up!

A question I am now asking myself as I find myself with 7 hours a day…35 hours a week to fill now that they boys are in school! I need to get “me” back! Now back to what is the question!

So even though it’s been so very long since I’ve posted…I’m kinda feeling the need to get up here and chat again! But with Twitter and Facebook my online time seems to be eaten up by other things! How crazy is that!?!? 

Still in Tennessee…the boys started Kindergarten…I’m working with Scott in his business…trying to keep my house up and trying to work on my personal ToDo List as well…Good Luck with all of that!

Oh well…just wanted to say I’m back! Sigh!

Well…today I sent my only two little tiny children into the world…the big world of KINDERGARTEN!

I know this may sound trite…but daily I am reminded of how important it is to be happy and really show your family love…to love them and be in love with your husband! Trust me when I tell you that it is easy to not show affection and to go about your daily life as partners…maybe even roommates! But what fun is that! There is a reason that you married your husband…and no matter how your life changes it should get better with age! We have these awesome cousins (you know who you are) who have a wonderful marriage and a great family! Their boys are grown and they have been married almost 30 years and they are still in love…not that giggly, google-eyed love of youth…but the real kind…that has gone through life together and come out stronger and deeper on the other side! I don’t mean to sound preachy or be on a soapbox…but there it is! Just my two cents!

Love to all, Donna

Well some computer problems have kept me from posting…and some family health issues (heart surgery for my father-in-law) and a host of other things I could mention…but won’t! I’m back! So good to be back!

Speak again soon!